Monique's Caregiving Story: A Nurse's Lesson

Monique’s journey as a caregiver for her mother, Miette, involved tough choices and a relentless commitment to her well-being. As a retired nurse and a RN care manager, Monique brought a wealth of knowledge to the role.

“As a nurse, I had the advantage of knowing what medical questions to ask,” Monique reflects. “It is like every single adult needs an RN care manager.”

Her training gave her confidence to navigate the medical system, but this experience carried a unique weight—now she was caring for her own mother.

Living an hour and half away from her mom, Monique frequently drove to Maine to doctor appointments and coordinated with her siblings to ensure Miette’s daily needs were met. Her mother spoke primarily French, and Monique attended doctor’s appointments to bridge the language gap, ensuring Miette’s voice was heard.

“Having a relationship with the primary care physicians is key,” Monique emphasizes. She knew it was important to build trust and form a close collaboration with her mom’s healthcare providers.

When Miette began showing signs of dementia, Monique found herself in a position that once felt familiar as a professional but was now deeply personal. She invoked a Power of Attorney to manage her mother’s needs, an experience that took on new meaning.

Reflecting on that, Monique says, “All that time as a professional I have had people invoke a power of attorney, and now that it was my mother, it hit me.”

Eventually, Monique made the difficult decision to place Miette in a care facility. Financially, Miette’s modest savings covered initial expenses. Before Miette passed away in 2016, her final years were spent in comfort, first in a care facility and later in the dementia care unit at the same facility. Monique recognizes the gap in resources and hopes for more accessible support.

“It would be a big help if we could get Medicare to pay for some of these things—like care facilities,” she says, highlighting the strain many caregivers face.

From grocery shopping to organizing finances and attending doctor’s visits, Monique supported her mother through the many small and large tasks of life, while bearing the emotional weight of each decision, all while balancing her own life and career. Monique’s caregiving journey highlights the critical role caregivers play and how much their support can matter at every stage.
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For AARP caregiving resources, please visit www.aarp.org/caregiving